Microsoft Support

Think about that name.  Micro meaning smaller than your concept of small and soft meaning – erm…not hard.  Sounds almost feminine, doesn’t it?  It sounds like something a woman would welcome and nurture.  We women are all about nurturing.  Unfortunately, Microsoft support is anything but nurturing.  Microsoft support wouldn’t qualify as a jock strap in a soccer game.  Microsoft is anything but supportive.

I started this blog questioning Bill Gates’ manhood (I mean really – a young man naming a product micro (tiny, very tiny) and soft (not hard) but I thought I would take a higher path).  (Slipped there a tad, didn’t I?)  Microsoft suggests they have support available but when called upon to prove it, cave like a down pillow covering a manhole.  You know that last step was soft – and you know you are falling, you just can’t believe someone would try to  fool you that badly!

Microsoft will fool you.  Apple is getting a lot of bad press lately for planned obsolescence and so it should be, but Microsoft has planned to screw you all along and that is hard to forgive.  You know walking into the store that Apple will cost you so you turn around and go seek the supposedly safe Microsoft harbour.  Bad move.  It’s not just the hotmail I lost (but I admit it is mostly that) it is all the stupid programs I had to pay for, all the updates and upgrades that eventually cost, all the nonsense recently about “we are changing this to a new program that even kiddygaters will understand”.  It is about Microsoft making our decisions for us.  Cause – hey, wow -we’re too stupid to know what we want.  Right?  Wrong.

I want to keep the programs I have, Microsoft – I like the way I have my computer set up but we all know that it will crash and burn eventually.  I am not at all looking forward to a new computer because I know it will insult me with it’s simplicity.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind computers getting easier to operate; I take mega exception to a program that treats me like an idiot and suggests I should let my fingers do the walking.  That is a very old concept – shame on Microsoft for suggesting it is new!

My next computer will be a Mac.  I figure I might as well switch horses and get newly abused.  I am 15 years tired of Microsoft abuse – and losing my hotmail account ices the cake. 

Don’t let Microsoft protect you against yourself!  Don’t let Microdick run your computer experience,  break free and try something else.  We can be a tad sheepish following what we know.  Understand you don’t know Microsoft and they don’t care to know you! They want your money not your patronage.  If they actually wanted YOU – they would put more effort into their customer service.  They would court you, they would respect you and they would make sure your Microsoft experience was a pleasant one!  Ya know what?

There are Hollywood street hookers with a better sense of customer satisfaction.  Shame, shame Microdick – shame shame!


Hotmail’s time has passed

Do you remember when admitting you had a hotmail account was akin to fessing up that you were an avid porn follower?   Just the name itself had those associations and you never wanted your friends to know you actually had a hotmail account.  Your friends got your real e-mail addy, never that “so and so” reference.  You didn’t want them thinking less of you because you couldn’t find a legitimate mail host.  Times have changed, but the “junk” mail association hasn’t.  Hotmail may be trying to upgrade it’s brand by switching to the Outlook theme, but the games the same.  There are no qualifications to make a hotmail account, just point and click.  That’s all fine, but they would pretend to be legitimate and that kinda grinds my gears.

I never used hotmail to contact anyone I knew.  I never gave out a hotmail addy to anyone I hoped would respect me.  I used it for online stuff that (in a later or more sober time) I could delete and move away from with no permanent scar to my name or reputation.  Hotmail has always been the equivalent of a brown paper bag around a cheap bottle of wine for me – I knew I wanted these contacts but I also knew I didn’t want them to come close to home, MY home.  It worked for 13 years; all those second thoughts were safely couched in my hotmail account.

Recently, it would appear that my old and barely trusted hotmail account has been hacked.  You’d think it wouldn’t much bother me, I had so little regard for the process that losing the account would seem a minor travail upon the much beaten internet path.  And that may be so.  But – it was MY account and the hoops that “Microsoft Support” made me jump through to recover it were insulting, demeaning and a tad Hitleresque!  I had a cellphone number that was supposed to be a verifying aspect, but it wasn’t.  I had a security question that was supposed to ensure I would be able to recover the account, but it didn’t.  It came down to filling in a form that left no room for anything but e-mail addresses I don’t remember and contacts I barely had time for to begin with.  It asked for past passwords which I did my best to provide, but really – unless you write them down – your passwords are like clouds, they skid by and then move over the horizon.  If you are like me, you remember your last password, because that is the only important one!

I know I lied like a sidewalk when I created the account, and now I am glad I did.  If my account was hacked I am glad I kept it at arm’s length, I would not want anyone knowing the information I have put into my legitimate e-mail accounts.  Everyone lies on the net, it is a form of self-preservation.  And yes, those lies will preclude you from returning to an account UNLESS you take the time to sprinkle some truth here and there and validate when prompted.  I validated my hotmail account.  It didn’t help.

I crashed against “Microsoft Support” so hard I thought I had landed in the middle of the pack at some roller derby event.  I gave them everything I had and mentioned I had received 3 reset codes through my current cellphone.   I answered my security question at least a dozen times.  I did not beg cause I just don’t do begging, but I appealed to their better nature.  Seems they don’t have one!  Keep in mind that this was a little used, rarely logged into account but it is being guarded like Fort Knox.  Mind you, it is being guarded from the owner of the account; I wonder where all this security was when it got hacked. 

The bottom line is hotmail’s time has passed.  There are hundreds of free mail services out there, find them, use them.  Sign up with your provider.  Navigate away from Hotmail (or Outlook as they now wish to be called, even they know how seedy hotmail sounds!). If you invest years into a site and it refuses to recognize that, it is time ill wasted.  Find a mail service that responds to your needs; that personally recognizes you as a user and that avoids the anonymous “support” train that Microsoft glorifies.  Find a service that cares about you and will work with you if you somehow get locked out of your account.  Find a service that is actually a service, and not an organization that splats it’s numbers down on paper to sell more shares, but never once thinks of the people behind those numbers.  Stay away from hotmail.  Do yourselves a favour and check into non-microsoft products and services.  They don’t care about you and those new struggling companies lauching better products and services will!

Hotmail?  Nah – not even luke warm!